| Wednesday,
Rules of Computerdom
1. There are two ways to write error-free programs;
only the third one works.
2. A printer consists of three main parts: the case,
the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
3. The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'.
4. At the source of every error which is blamed on the
computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of
blaming it on the computer.
5. Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly
before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."
6. Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding.
I'll go find out what they want."
7. Computer Science: solving today's problems
tomorrow.
8. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
9. Hit any user to continue.
10. I wish life had an UNDO function.
11. If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper,"
this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.
12. It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit in the
drive.
13. Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait
14. 665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast
15. I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more
friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
16. My software never has bugs. It just develops
random features. 17. Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi)
using Roman numerals.
18. "To know recursion, you must first know recursion"
19. Life's unfair - but root password helps!
20. Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is
the most important meal of the day.
21. Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
22. "Programming today is a race between software
engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the
Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is
winning.
23. Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium.
24. Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says
"Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence.
25. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
26. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards
to go!
27. As a computer, I find your faith in technology
amusing.
28. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
29. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
30. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
31. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
32. A good programmer makes all the right mistakes.
33. Managing programmers is like herding cats.
34. "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys
typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works
of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not
true."
35. "A good programmer is someone who looks both ways
before crossing a one-way street."
36. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++
makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
37. A computer scientist is someone who, when told to
"Go to H---," sees the "go to," rather than the destination, as harmful.
38. 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast
39. APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key.
Application has reported a "Not My Fault" in module KRNL.EXE in line
0200:103F
40. "The three most dangerous things in the world are
a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a software patch
and a user with an idea."
Jim Woosley
============
For Better, For Worse
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/
article/2005/04/30/AR2005043000108_pf.html
Marriage Means Something Different Now
By Stephanie Coontz Post Sunday, May 1, 2005;
B01
Thirteen years ago, Vice President Dan Quayle
attacked the producers of TV sitcom's Murphy Brown for letting her character
bear a child out of wedlock, claiming that the show's failure to defend
traditional family values was encouraging America's youth to abandon
marriage. His speech kicked off more than a decade of outcries against the
"collapse of the family." Today, such attacks have given way to a kinder,
gentler campaign to promote marriage, with billboards declaring that
"Marriage Works" and books making "the case for marriage." What these
campaigns have in common is the idea that people are willfully refusing to
recognize the value of traditional families and that their behavior will
change if we can just enlighten them.
But recent changes in marriage are part of a
worldwide upheaval in family life that has transformed the way people
conduct their personal lives as thoroughly and permanently as the Industrial
Revolution transformed their working lives 200 years ago. Marriage is no
longer the main way in which societies regulate sexuality and parenting or
organize the division of labor between men and women. And although some
people hope to turn back the tide by promoting traditional values, making
divorce harder or outlawing gay marriage, they are having to confront a
startling irony: The very factors that have made marriage more satisfying in
modern times have also made it more optional.
The origins of modern marital instability lie
largely in the triumph of what many people believe to be marriage's
traditional role -- providing love, intimacy, fidelity and mutual
fulfillment. The truth is that for centuries, marriage was stable precisely
because it was not expected to provide such benefits. As soon as love became
the driving force behind marriage, people began to demand the right to
remain single if they had not found love or to divorce if they fell out of
love.
Such demands were raised as early as the 1790s,
which prompted conservatives to predict that love would be the death of
marriage. For the next 150 years, the inherently destabilizing effects of
the love revolution were held in check by women's economic dependence on
men, the unreliability of birth control and the harsh legal treatment of
children born out of wedlock, as well as the social ostracism of their
mothers. As late as the 1960s, two-thirds of college women in the United
States said they would marry a man they didn't love if he met all their
other, often economic, criteria. Men also felt compelled to marry if they
hoped for promotions at work or for political credibility.
All these restraints on individual choice
collapsed between 1960 and 1980. Divorce rates had long been rising in
Western Europe and the United States, and although they had leveled off
following World War II, they climbed at an unprecedented rate in the 1970s,
leading some to believe that the introduction of no-fault divorce laws,
which meant married couples could divorce if they simply fell out of love,
had caused the erosion of marriage. <snip>
Frank
============
Burrito Leads To School Lockdown, Armed Officers On
Roof Tops
http://www.wftv.com/news/4437950/detail.html
Ed
Why not? Sir, step away from the
burrito...
=========
Subject: Autism,
Jerry
If I'm reading this right, then both camps may be
right: autism may be encouraged by a genetic propensity not to metabolize
toxic metals like mercury, along with exposure to mercury in vaccines. Of
course, there are likely more factors at work, but this would explain why
there is no effect seen in the population at large. Now, as for whether this
might explain the overall increase in autism, I am not so sure. Certainly
the negative results in Japan (thermoseal/mercury gone from vaccines, autism
continues to rise) would argue that there is something else at work.
Ed
BTW--Science News is such a good precise of what is
happening in science that I still subscribe to the paper edition. It mixes
brief notes with 2-3 page articles aimed at the intelligent reader, always
very readable.
Science News Online
http://www.sciencenews.org/articles/20050416/note14.asp
Week of April 16, 2005; Vol. 167, No. 16
Blood hints at autism's source
Janet Raloff
From San Diego, at the Experimental Biology
2005 meeting
Researchers have identified a biochemical
peculiarity in the blood of autistic children. The scientists say the
finding could lead to earlier diagnosis of this neurological disorder and a
better understanding of how certain genes may drive it.
Autism, which typically shows up in toddlers,
is characterized by limited language skills, poor social interaction,
repetitive behaviors, and limited interests. Autism often runs in families,
which suggests a genetic cause.
However, "the incidence of autism has gone up
dramatically in the last 15 years," notes S. Jill James, director of
biochemical genetics at Arkansas Children's Hospital in Little Rock.
"Because genes don't change that fast, this points to something in the
environment as a trigger," she says.
In a study of the blood of some apparently
healthy children, the biochemistry of one sample stood out. It came from an
autistic boy. Curious, James got blood samples from 20 other autistic
children. All exhibited a similar, unusual biochemical fingerprint, which
James has now confirmed in an additional 75 autistic children. None in a
comparison group of 75 neurologically healthy kids carried the fingerprint
in his or her blood.
The autistic youngsters had unusually low
concentrations of the antioxidant glutathione in their cells. Their ratio of
active glutathione to its inactive breakdown products also was unusually
low. <snip>
I also subscribe to the paper copy.
In our rather mad drive to cost reduce
everything, we decided to give all the immunization shots at once; and the
next think you know a measure that is hardly optimum -- common sense would
tell you that there's more stress from having to adapt to several diseases
at once, and surely it's easier to build antibodies one at a time rather
than all at once -- became universal. The connection with autism may be one
of massive stress adaptation?
I confess my brains aren't working well
this morning, due to recovery from something my flu shots didn't prepare me
for...
==============
Subject: Oldest living munchkin tells all.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/05/04/oldest.munchkin.ap/index.html
------ Roland Dobbins
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